I am so thankful for the past few months. I have surely seen God move in my life and in others', and I have definitely grown in my relationship with him. What's more, in the past God has revealed himself through a series of experiences that were humbling, but this past semester has been growth through delving into the scripture. That has been a unique and amazing thing for me. God certainly uses experiences, but it has been great to meet him through his word.
So, understandably, I KNEW that when I went back home for Thanksgiving break, I would be able to die to myself and serve the other members of my family in a Christ-like way. The love that I have for my immediate and extended family would absolutely be enough for me to be able to show Christ to them, if only in a fraction of the way that they have showed me. What I found, however, is that I failed... pretty miserably. What DID take place is a pretty amazing back-step into my habits of high-school. The only difference was that, instead of watching TV, I read most of the time. It was a Christian book about following Christ radically. I share this, because, given the general selfishness of my attitude, it's pretty hilarious that that's what I was reading. When I say "hilarious," I don't really mean "ha-ha" funny, I mean, "you have to laugh to keep from crying" funny.
This is certainly frustrating. After thinking about it for the past couple days, I think I found why this happens (maybe). I know that my family accepts me, and I know that they love me unconditionally. This makes it so much easier for me to regress into a selfish child who has his mom make every meal for him, and groans every time his Dad asks him to help out. Another interesting point, maybe I've changed. I always thought that I could seamlessly transition between Greensboro and Raleigh, but I don't think I can. They are two very different places, and both have glimpses, but not entire pictures of who I am.
That last statement is very important, mainly for this reason: it is absolutely the selfishness that God hates. That last statement is exactly what I've thought in the past, and seemed completely rational when I wrote it here. I think this often, and I am sure others do as well. I have a view of myself as this incredibly complex soul that few are able to understand. So there it is, there is the pride that is underlying everything. This entry itself has been teeming with pride, "I have grown, I failed to serve, I have changed." Self-analysis is necessary, but goodness gracious, stop viewing the world as some Citizen Kane featuring yourself and follow Christ! Empty words are evil, and we are wasting time when we should be proclaiming his name! As Jesus said in Matthew 10:25-26, "A disciple is not above his teacher, nor a servant above his master. It is enough for the disciple to be like his teacher, and the servant to be like his master." Also, in James 4, "What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes." We could also read Proverbs 4:25, "Let your eyes look directly forward, and your gaze be straight before you."
Praise God that we may find rest in him, and be turned away from our own prideful hearts.
"Serve the Lord with fear, and rejoice with trembling." -Psalms 2:11
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Monday, November 15, 2010
Family (I) - Grandparents
I started writing this blog because I wanted the communities that have had the most profound effect on me to be able to see how they have affected me. Also, although practically impossible, I greatly desire for the communities to see each other, even if it is only seeing each other through me. I was reminded of this because I was able to take part in the interview for the Vintage 21 membership process today. Answering the questions allowed me to reflect and remember the profound effect that my family and the members of Friendly Avenue Baptist Church in Greensboro have had on me. So, for all the people in Raleigh that I have come to know and love, I ask that you would read this. Not so I can talk about myself, but so that all of you can see the people that have been such a huge part of my life, and have showed me Christ in various ways.
An important note: None of these people are perfect. They, like every person, are broken human beings that need Christ's love above all else. I see Christ through them in so many varied ways, but Christ is revealed through all of their inconsistencies, as well as the great multitude of my inconsistencies, because he is ALL that is sufficient (Hebrews 4:15-16).
I was blessed to be born into a family that faithfully pursues Christ. Not just my immediate family, but my extended family as well. All of my grandparents (and two living great-grandparents) follow Christ, in fact, my parents and their families went to the same church for most of their childhoods. It is truly a profound blessing to have grandparents that have shown me Christ, and it is a testament to their endurance that they have poured into two generations (Hebrews 12:1). Paw-Paw Chandler is a minister, and has absolutely shown me what it means to be a shepherd. He continually visits those that are hurting, and greatly desires for Christ to be known. Maw-Maw Chandler has a servant's heart that is unparalleled. Her focus is unwavering in its desire to sacrifice for others. Maw-Maw Lane loves her family. I don't just mean she is proud of them, I mean she will shower all of us with Godly love, as well as defend us. Paw-Paw Lane is, simply put, a man of wisdom. He is continually pursuing knowledge and understanding of the true nature of God. I have had four loving, enduring followers of Christ pour into me. Oh praise the Lord that a lowly sinner should be blessed by such people! That the sheer weight of his blessing should crush my pride and reveal his truly omnipotent love!
I am unable to effectively communicate how much of an impact these four people have had on me. How can I relate four loving, complex souls when the entirety of a life fails to reach the depth that God has blessed us, his creations, with? These four descriptions are horrifyingly inadequate, but only an attempt to let others see a glimpse of who they are. One of the most difficult things to deal with in Christianity is loving communication between followers, especially between generations. My methodology is markedly different from my grandparents, and several other members of my extended family, but what I pray for, what the spirit groans for, is that I would never lose sight of the fact that they have pursued Christ. Also that we, as a generation, would see that previous generations have pursued Christ, even if we disagree with their methods. Then let us pursue Christ as well. With reckless abandon! Let future generations say that we ran a good race and did not shy away from the Gospel. That we humbled ourselves to the point of death for Christ! (Philippians 2: 5-8)
An important note: None of these people are perfect. They, like every person, are broken human beings that need Christ's love above all else. I see Christ through them in so many varied ways, but Christ is revealed through all of their inconsistencies, as well as the great multitude of my inconsistencies, because he is ALL that is sufficient (Hebrews 4:15-16).
I was blessed to be born into a family that faithfully pursues Christ. Not just my immediate family, but my extended family as well. All of my grandparents (and two living great-grandparents) follow Christ, in fact, my parents and their families went to the same church for most of their childhoods. It is truly a profound blessing to have grandparents that have shown me Christ, and it is a testament to their endurance that they have poured into two generations (Hebrews 12:1). Paw-Paw Chandler is a minister, and has absolutely shown me what it means to be a shepherd. He continually visits those that are hurting, and greatly desires for Christ to be known. Maw-Maw Chandler has a servant's heart that is unparalleled. Her focus is unwavering in its desire to sacrifice for others. Maw-Maw Lane loves her family. I don't just mean she is proud of them, I mean she will shower all of us with Godly love, as well as defend us. Paw-Paw Lane is, simply put, a man of wisdom. He is continually pursuing knowledge and understanding of the true nature of God. I have had four loving, enduring followers of Christ pour into me. Oh praise the Lord that a lowly sinner should be blessed by such people! That the sheer weight of his blessing should crush my pride and reveal his truly omnipotent love!
I am unable to effectively communicate how much of an impact these four people have had on me. How can I relate four loving, complex souls when the entirety of a life fails to reach the depth that God has blessed us, his creations, with? These four descriptions are horrifyingly inadequate, but only an attempt to let others see a glimpse of who they are. One of the most difficult things to deal with in Christianity is loving communication between followers, especially between generations. My methodology is markedly different from my grandparents, and several other members of my extended family, but what I pray for, what the spirit groans for, is that I would never lose sight of the fact that they have pursued Christ. Also that we, as a generation, would see that previous generations have pursued Christ, even if we disagree with their methods. Then let us pursue Christ as well. With reckless abandon! Let future generations say that we ran a good race and did not shy away from the Gospel. That we humbled ourselves to the point of death for Christ! (Philippians 2: 5-8)
Friday, November 12, 2010
Broken
Yesterday in community group we covered James 2:8-13. This passage gets to one of the most difficult issues in Christianity: obedience to the Law and the old covenant in light of the new covenant expounded by Jesus. Verses 9 and 10 say, "But if you show partiality, you are committing sin and are convicted by the law as transgressors. For whoever keeps the whole law but fails in one point has become accountable for all of it." This verse is what I have dwelt on for a while. To understand that the entire law is broken with any one offense. I have heard for years that all sin is equal in God's eyes, but that phrase seems to have become cliche, at least for me.
Though I don't know if we can ever fully understand the weight of our sin, I have been imbued with a deeper understanding, thanks to Ezekiel 16. This is one of the most vivid and horrifying passages I have read in the Bible, and it has profoundly changed my view of sin. The chapter begins with God describing what he has done for Jerusalem. When she (Jerusalem) was born, no one wanted her. She was abandoned and alone, but God took her and cared for her. When she grew up she was clothed and cared for by God (Ezekiel 16:13).
Jerusalem, however, turned from God, and after experiencing his perfect love, Jerusalem whored herself out to idols (Ezekiel 16:15). Then God says, "How lovesick is your heart, declares the Lord God, because you did all these things, the deeds of a brazen prostitute... yet you were not like a prostitute, because you scorned payment. Adulterous wife, who receives strangers instead of her husband!" (Ezekiel 16:30-32). This is sin. To be the precious, chosen bride of God, and to whore ourselves out to the idols of this world. I am now able to understand better, but not fully, what my sin is.
This passage drives me straight to God. My flesh is capable of horrible, atrocious things, simply because it has already spat in the face of the Almighty, Omnipotent, Creator of the universe. Now, I am broken, and I tremble with fear at what my flesh can do. However, God is with me, and ONLY through him may my flesh be destroyed and my soul restored. Now I don't just feel that I need God, but that I must cling to him with all the strength that I have. He is all that can save me from myself, and I am nothing without him.
The final glorious step is Christ's sacrifice and resurrection. After beginning to understand how broken I am, I am then able to better understand his sacrifice. That flesh that is so heinous was destroyed, and I have new life. In fact, I no longer live, but Christ lives THROUGH me (Galatians 2:20). This is why I praise the Lord that he has revealed my brokenness, especially through Ezekiel 16, because when I better understand the profound evil of reviling the Alpha and Omega, then I am able to better understand the complete and perfect grace that I have received. Now I must desperately cling to Christ, and follow him with reckless abandon, for that is where life is found.
"Do not forsake me, O Lord! O my God, be not far from me! Make haste to help me, O Lord, my salvation!" - Psalm 38:21-22
Though I don't know if we can ever fully understand the weight of our sin, I have been imbued with a deeper understanding, thanks to Ezekiel 16. This is one of the most vivid and horrifying passages I have read in the Bible, and it has profoundly changed my view of sin. The chapter begins with God describing what he has done for Jerusalem. When she (Jerusalem) was born, no one wanted her. She was abandoned and alone, but God took her and cared for her. When she grew up she was clothed and cared for by God (Ezekiel 16:13).
Jerusalem, however, turned from God, and after experiencing his perfect love, Jerusalem whored herself out to idols (Ezekiel 16:15). Then God says, "How lovesick is your heart, declares the Lord God, because you did all these things, the deeds of a brazen prostitute... yet you were not like a prostitute, because you scorned payment. Adulterous wife, who receives strangers instead of her husband!" (Ezekiel 16:30-32). This is sin. To be the precious, chosen bride of God, and to whore ourselves out to the idols of this world. I am now able to understand better, but not fully, what my sin is.
This passage drives me straight to God. My flesh is capable of horrible, atrocious things, simply because it has already spat in the face of the Almighty, Omnipotent, Creator of the universe. Now, I am broken, and I tremble with fear at what my flesh can do. However, God is with me, and ONLY through him may my flesh be destroyed and my soul restored. Now I don't just feel that I need God, but that I must cling to him with all the strength that I have. He is all that can save me from myself, and I am nothing without him.
The final glorious step is Christ's sacrifice and resurrection. After beginning to understand how broken I am, I am then able to better understand his sacrifice. That flesh that is so heinous was destroyed, and I have new life. In fact, I no longer live, but Christ lives THROUGH me (Galatians 2:20). This is why I praise the Lord that he has revealed my brokenness, especially through Ezekiel 16, because when I better understand the profound evil of reviling the Alpha and Omega, then I am able to better understand the complete and perfect grace that I have received. Now I must desperately cling to Christ, and follow him with reckless abandon, for that is where life is found.
"Do not forsake me, O Lord! O my God, be not far from me! Make haste to help me, O Lord, my salvation!" - Psalm 38:21-22
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Time
I finally have a time of rest. Two weeks of tests and projects are done, and I get at least a day to relax. Having said that, I realize that my "busy" is trivial compared to others (i.e. anyone married, working, or raising children). I have been blessed with time. My schoolwork is certainly not trivial, but at this point in my life I don't have the constraints that others do/I will later. My conviction then is to use this time that I have for the glory of God, for "to whom much was given, of him much will be required, and from him to whom they entrusted much, they will demand the more" (Luke 12:48). It stands to reason that properly giving of the resources that I have now (limited funds, much time), will translate into proper giving of the resources that I will have in the future (more funds, less time).
This train of thought has led me to contemplating Christian endurance. As Hebrews 12:1 says, "Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside our weight and the sin that so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us." Pursuing Christ takes patience. Not just in individuals' lives, but as a church body, endurance is desperately needed. I recently read a blog that talked about tradition, especially in western evangelical churches. It dawned on me that I couldn't think of any older church bodies (150+ years) that exist. That's pathetic. We belong to a universal church, so the church body is always present, but the local church is and will be the agent of reform in the world (Acts 2:42-47). How can we expect to show Christ to the rest of the world if church bodies only exist for a generation?
Of all the subjects that I could discuss, I think this is one of the hardest for my generation and age group. When I think of showing Christ to the city of Raleigh, some practical steps I can think of are tutoring a student at Hunter Elementary or the Raleigh Boys' Club, or living in the communities that need holy transformation. The problem is, I want to see these actions take place and have immediate results. I want all of us at Vintage 21 (jointly, with the entire fellowship of believers in Raleigh) to become a servant to the city, and to help transform the city by putting Christ first. To do this, however, requires commitment and patience. To show the perfect and loving Father to Raleigh is a lifetime commitment. In fact, it should be more. There needs to be a church body actively pursuing Christ for generations. If I and my fellow 18-24 year old peers are honest, this is one of the hardest things to deal with. It fills me with anxiety and frustration, because I want it done NOW. That is why I need to pray desperately for endurance. I know that the attributes of my age group are to be passionate and impetuous, but that is not a bad thing. The tragedy is when we burn ourselves out and then lose the passion to run the race. I NEVER want to lose this passion, but I pray that God will instill me with patience to commit my life to Christ-like transformation.
God truly can change a city. He can bring about social transformation the world has never seen and couldn't even imagine, but we are naive if we think that that will happen through us working with any certain group while we're in college. I pray fervently that this city will be changed through Christ, and that the followers of Christ will pursue that end for centuries to come. We have time. We don't know how the world will change, or what will happen in each of our lives, but we all have a lifetime to give to the pursuit of Christ.
"Do you not know that in a race all the runners compete, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it." -Romans 9:24
This train of thought has led me to contemplating Christian endurance. As Hebrews 12:1 says, "Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside our weight and the sin that so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us." Pursuing Christ takes patience. Not just in individuals' lives, but as a church body, endurance is desperately needed. I recently read a blog that talked about tradition, especially in western evangelical churches. It dawned on me that I couldn't think of any older church bodies (150+ years) that exist. That's pathetic. We belong to a universal church, so the church body is always present, but the local church is and will be the agent of reform in the world (Acts 2:42-47). How can we expect to show Christ to the rest of the world if church bodies only exist for a generation?
Of all the subjects that I could discuss, I think this is one of the hardest for my generation and age group. When I think of showing Christ to the city of Raleigh, some practical steps I can think of are tutoring a student at Hunter Elementary or the Raleigh Boys' Club, or living in the communities that need holy transformation. The problem is, I want to see these actions take place and have immediate results. I want all of us at Vintage 21 (jointly, with the entire fellowship of believers in Raleigh) to become a servant to the city, and to help transform the city by putting Christ first. To do this, however, requires commitment and patience. To show the perfect and loving Father to Raleigh is a lifetime commitment. In fact, it should be more. There needs to be a church body actively pursuing Christ for generations. If I and my fellow 18-24 year old peers are honest, this is one of the hardest things to deal with. It fills me with anxiety and frustration, because I want it done NOW. That is why I need to pray desperately for endurance. I know that the attributes of my age group are to be passionate and impetuous, but that is not a bad thing. The tragedy is when we burn ourselves out and then lose the passion to run the race. I NEVER want to lose this passion, but I pray that God will instill me with patience to commit my life to Christ-like transformation.
God truly can change a city. He can bring about social transformation the world has never seen and couldn't even imagine, but we are naive if we think that that will happen through us working with any certain group while we're in college. I pray fervently that this city will be changed through Christ, and that the followers of Christ will pursue that end for centuries to come. We have time. We don't know how the world will change, or what will happen in each of our lives, but we all have a lifetime to give to the pursuit of Christ.
"Do you not know that in a race all the runners compete, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it." -Romans 9:24
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