As with anyone who professes to follow Christ, honesty has a high place of honor in my mind. As we follow Christ, honesty with him allows us to realize our complete dependence on him, and honesty with others allows us to reflect his love. It also allows us to live in community with each other (Galatians 6:1-2). The only way to truly grow in Christ is to have the ability to analyze yourself and to allow others to analyze/support you.
Honesty, however, is tricky. First, because there is a point at which honesty is not healthy sharing, but unloading all our problems and hoping that people are listening (or reading). Second, because I doubt human beings' ability to truly analyze themselves. With apologies to Bacon, emotions are ever-present, and cold rationality is equally undesirable and impossible. The outcome is that honesty can be in a constant state of flux within the individual. Lastly, language is inherently imperfect. Personal complexity and nuance is lost when expressed through language that strives to standardize ideas into forms that can be applicable to all situations. To clarify, language is not broken, just imperfect. This backdrop helps to explain why honesty is not as visibly present in the world as we may wish. Just as humans are, or because humans are, slightly bent, so is honesty.
So where does pure honesty exist? As Rob said, only God is able to fully and completely know each of us. Thus pure honesty can only be experienced in relationship with God, as shown by Psalm 139. We should desire to be honest with him so that we may grow in our relationship, something Paul points to in 1 Corinthians 4:3-4 & 8:2. As Proverbs 14:10 said, "the heart knows its own bitterness, and no stranger shares its joy," a fact that is freeing. Only after we realize that we can only be honest with God are we able to die to ourselves and live out Galatians 5:1. It could also be added that though it is difficult/impossible to be truly honest with the people around us, relationships not only survive, but thrive, due to God's presence.
Thank you so much for the input! It was great to look deeper into this incredibly powerful verse.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Proverbs 14:10
I was reading through Proverbs 14 today, and stumbled across a very interesting passage. Somewhat randomly, verse 10 says, "The heart knows its own bitterness, and no stranger shares its joy." I would be greatly interested if people could comment on what they think this could mean, and it might be good to read the rest of that chapter to understand context. I have some thoughts on the verse, but wouldn't mind some input. Hopefully several people will offer suggestions, and then I'll do a follow up post in a few days!
Also, a passage that could possibly go with it is Ecclesiastes 7. Specifically, verses 2-4. I'd love to get some feedback, so please let me know what you think!
Also, a passage that could possibly go with it is Ecclesiastes 7. Specifically, verses 2-4. I'd love to get some feedback, so please let me know what you think!
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Worship (1)
"Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!" -Psalm 34:8
Throughout this past weekend, I was constantly inundated by God's grace and goodness. It seems that I am experiencing a season of happiness, one that I am so thankful for. However, I do not want this season to be taken for granted, or cause me to look away from the eternal peace that supports me through ALL times. That is why the source of this happiness should ALWAYS be recognized as Christ.
Sunday's service at Vintage 21 seems to be a focal point in my recent joy. Admittedly, I went into the service after a five hour car ride, so I may have had a little more energy than normal. After the message, we sang three songs. During each one, it truly felt like the entire congregation was crying out with one voice. While the church body in that building was singing I felt the presence of God more clearly and acutely than I ever have before in a corporate worship setting. There was no anxiety or hindrance in the act of praising God. Hands lifted high, kneeling in prayer, or just breathing in the spirit, we worshiped. It was pure, and it was of Christ. It was also from Christ, "For from him and through him and to him are all things" (Romans 11:36).
How freeing a verse! I was given the ability and opportunity to worship with reckless abandon. That is why I was filled with a joy that is difficult to describe! My face was radiant and unashamed (Psalm 34:5), but not by me or for me, only from and for Christ.
What followed for the next hour or two was what can only be described as joy bordering on annoyance to those around me. Believe me, there are witnesses. But after the energy died down, I didn't sink into a disconsolate state wishing that I could feel like I had earlier. That's exactly the point, it wasn't a feeling. It was worship of the Almighty. An image even began to form of me and all the people that I hold dear lying in a field together and praising God. No instruments. Not even looking at each other, but looking straight up to the heavens and praising Christ with reckless abandon. Oh how I pray that this would be ingrained in my memory forever, and that I would never fail to see the greatness of God.
"From you comes my praise in the great congregation... All the ends of the earth shall remember and turn to the Lord, and all the families of the nations shall worship before you." -Psalm 22:25-27
Throughout this past weekend, I was constantly inundated by God's grace and goodness. It seems that I am experiencing a season of happiness, one that I am so thankful for. However, I do not want this season to be taken for granted, or cause me to look away from the eternal peace that supports me through ALL times. That is why the source of this happiness should ALWAYS be recognized as Christ.
Sunday's service at Vintage 21 seems to be a focal point in my recent joy. Admittedly, I went into the service after a five hour car ride, so I may have had a little more energy than normal. After the message, we sang three songs. During each one, it truly felt like the entire congregation was crying out with one voice. While the church body in that building was singing I felt the presence of God more clearly and acutely than I ever have before in a corporate worship setting. There was no anxiety or hindrance in the act of praising God. Hands lifted high, kneeling in prayer, or just breathing in the spirit, we worshiped. It was pure, and it was of Christ. It was also from Christ, "For from him and through him and to him are all things" (Romans 11:36).
How freeing a verse! I was given the ability and opportunity to worship with reckless abandon. That is why I was filled with a joy that is difficult to describe! My face was radiant and unashamed (Psalm 34:5), but not by me or for me, only from and for Christ.
What followed for the next hour or two was what can only be described as joy bordering on annoyance to those around me. Believe me, there are witnesses. But after the energy died down, I didn't sink into a disconsolate state wishing that I could feel like I had earlier. That's exactly the point, it wasn't a feeling. It was worship of the Almighty. An image even began to form of me and all the people that I hold dear lying in a field together and praising God. No instruments. Not even looking at each other, but looking straight up to the heavens and praising Christ with reckless abandon. Oh how I pray that this would be ingrained in my memory forever, and that I would never fail to see the greatness of God.
"From you comes my praise in the great congregation... All the ends of the earth shall remember and turn to the Lord, and all the families of the nations shall worship before you." -Psalm 22:25-27
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Community
Because I will more than likely be missing Community Group tonight, I have been thinking about the role that it has played in my life. Although, the better question should be, what role have I played to pour into and help the community group grow in Christ? Vintage 21, the church I've attended for the past two years while at college, has community groups meet once a week to study and delve deeper into the passage that was taught on Sunday. This group is not merely a Bible study though. It is exactly what its name suggests, a gathering of people that wish to learn and grow in Christ through community. A much better description than my own is available on this link: http://www.vintage21.com/community-groups/.
I started going to community group January of 2010, and was instantly appreciative of what was happening. There was a depth to the study of scripture that I had not seen before, and for the most part, everyone desired to be open and honest with each other. Two things made me stay: 1) Someone I was doing discipleship with and his roommates were going, and I'd grown to respect all of them. 2) I saw the potential to be vulnerable and honest with others about my struggles without being judged.
Looking back on the past several months, I can say that I have been honest and vulnerable (to the point of exhaustion) at some times. That vulnerability, scattered as it is, would not be possible if I didn't see an underlying desire within the community to build others up in Christ. This gets to my greatest struggle with any group, but especially this group in particular, I desire commitment, or, selfishly desire loyalty. I can be vulnerable and "throw my heart out on the floor," but I often want something in return. Maybe it's praise, or sympathy, but whatever it is, it is not of Christ. More often than not, I just want others to stay. Many people have attended community group for a few weeks and then left. This is perfectly justifiable, we are all fed spiritually in different ways, but my heart breaks every time someone leaves.
I'm sure that I will continue to throw my heart out on the floor and be met at times with blank stares, but there is one constant in everything: God. As Psalm 73 says, "Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever" (Psalm 73:25-26), also in James, "Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change" (James 1:17). God is the one constant, the relationship that will never fail me or turn away.
This is the progression that leads me back to community. I trust that God is with me and also with every single person in that group. He has an intimate and beautiful relationship with each of them, and what a joy to see that in others! The complexity and experience that each of these people bring to the group is overwhelming. When I am scared because I know people will leave, I turn to God as my constant, and then I can turn back to the community group and love them each will all that I have. I can bear their burdens joyfully and pray that I would be able to sacrifice for them so much that it's painful.
"Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself"
-Galatians 6:2-3
I started going to community group January of 2010, and was instantly appreciative of what was happening. There was a depth to the study of scripture that I had not seen before, and for the most part, everyone desired to be open and honest with each other. Two things made me stay: 1) Someone I was doing discipleship with and his roommates were going, and I'd grown to respect all of them. 2) I saw the potential to be vulnerable and honest with others about my struggles without being judged.
Looking back on the past several months, I can say that I have been honest and vulnerable (to the point of exhaustion) at some times. That vulnerability, scattered as it is, would not be possible if I didn't see an underlying desire within the community to build others up in Christ. This gets to my greatest struggle with any group, but especially this group in particular, I desire commitment, or, selfishly desire loyalty. I can be vulnerable and "throw my heart out on the floor," but I often want something in return. Maybe it's praise, or sympathy, but whatever it is, it is not of Christ. More often than not, I just want others to stay. Many people have attended community group for a few weeks and then left. This is perfectly justifiable, we are all fed spiritually in different ways, but my heart breaks every time someone leaves.
I'm sure that I will continue to throw my heart out on the floor and be met at times with blank stares, but there is one constant in everything: God. As Psalm 73 says, "Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever" (Psalm 73:25-26), also in James, "Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change" (James 1:17). God is the one constant, the relationship that will never fail me or turn away.
This is the progression that leads me back to community. I trust that God is with me and also with every single person in that group. He has an intimate and beautiful relationship with each of them, and what a joy to see that in others! The complexity and experience that each of these people bring to the group is overwhelming. When I am scared because I know people will leave, I turn to God as my constant, and then I can turn back to the community group and love them each will all that I have. I can bear their burdens joyfully and pray that I would be able to sacrifice for them so much that it's painful.
"Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself"
-Galatians 6:2-3
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Introduction
I'm still not completely confident that I should start a blog. But I guess you only live once, and I want to take advantage of life by sitting in front of a computer and sharing my thoughts! One reason I want to write is to share my experience following Christ and get feedback from others. Solomon's writings in Ecclesiastes and Proverbs have pushed me to search for Godly wisdom. However, it says in Proverbs, "The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice." (Proverbs 12:15) I need others to ask about/critique my thoughts to grow in my relationship with Christ. I pray that I would always be open to others' thoughts so that Christ my be seen through me.
In addition to this, I have enjoyed reading others' blogs over the past several weeks and months. I have seen new perspectives and been introduced to passages from the Bible that have helped in my walk with Christ. Though I don't have a long list of blogs I consistently keep up with, the blogs are my gateway to the various communities that I'm apart of. That is one of my chief desires for this exercise, to link the communities and people that I love dearly. There are three specific communities that have had the largest impact on my life. First, my family. Next, the church community I grew up with in Greensboro, and lastly, the church community I am apart of in Raleigh. Each group is so full of complex and joyful people that I could not begin to describe any of their members with the proper respect and love that they deserve. That is a main reason why I want to write. To link the worlds that have shaped me and that pursue Christ together, even if they don't know each other. Galatians 2:20 says, "I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." I no longer live, but Christ lives through me, and I have seen him in various ways through his followers that surround me.
So with that, I hope that this blog will reveal, not myself, but Christ and the precious people that have poured into me throughout my life. In some small way, maybe my parents will now be able to meet Patrick, or Christian will be able to see what worship is like at Vintage 21. Maybe Rob will be able to meet my community group and Chris will be able to talk to Reece about the Bible. When I walk around Raleigh, or when I drive to Greensboro, these people are with me. They are in my thoughts and prayers, and these communities shower Christ-like love on me in ways I could never begin to explain or even understand.
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us."
-Hebrews 12:1
In addition to this, I have enjoyed reading others' blogs over the past several weeks and months. I have seen new perspectives and been introduced to passages from the Bible that have helped in my walk with Christ. Though I don't have a long list of blogs I consistently keep up with, the blogs are my gateway to the various communities that I'm apart of. That is one of my chief desires for this exercise, to link the communities and people that I love dearly. There are three specific communities that have had the largest impact on my life. First, my family. Next, the church community I grew up with in Greensboro, and lastly, the church community I am apart of in Raleigh. Each group is so full of complex and joyful people that I could not begin to describe any of their members with the proper respect and love that they deserve. That is a main reason why I want to write. To link the worlds that have shaped me and that pursue Christ together, even if they don't know each other. Galatians 2:20 says, "I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." I no longer live, but Christ lives through me, and I have seen him in various ways through his followers that surround me.
So with that, I hope that this blog will reveal, not myself, but Christ and the precious people that have poured into me throughout my life. In some small way, maybe my parents will now be able to meet Patrick, or Christian will be able to see what worship is like at Vintage 21. Maybe Rob will be able to meet my community group and Chris will be able to talk to Reece about the Bible. When I walk around Raleigh, or when I drive to Greensboro, these people are with me. They are in my thoughts and prayers, and these communities shower Christ-like love on me in ways I could never begin to explain or even understand.
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us."
-Hebrews 12:1
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